Now, in the last blog I will describe Sam!:
On the photo you can see Sam, my boyfriend!
He has got medium long, a bit wavy and brown hair. The young man is thin- faced and has got wonderful brown eyes!
Sam is a slim person but also muscular and well- built! I think that is helpful if you want to be a good skater, like Sam is!
Here you see Sam sitting on a bench; he wears a black jacket, with a black shirt. Under the shirt you can see a watch. My boyfriend wears a dark jean, in the pants; near his knee is a big hole.
I guess that the picture incurred after a Slam! Maybe he wasn’t concentrated and didn’t keep the balence on the board, when he practised the rock ´n´ rolle, so he felt on the ground!
Donnerstag, 17. Dezember 2009
The End
The end of the propably most surprising and exciting part in my life
All in all I am happy how it happened;Sam and me live in different areas and we have new partners in our life. As good as far! I feel good when I think about the past, all the rows with Sam an the hard discussions with my parents, the time when I had to live with the secret that I was pregnant was the most difficult and confusng time for ever. The time has passed so fast and Roof is a good-looking, slim boy by now!He grow up quicker than Sam and me could imagine!
Thank you for your help, Sam! And thanks that you came back from Hastings!:D
All in all I am happy how it happened;Sam and me live in different areas and we have new partners in our life. As good as far! I feel good when I think about the past, all the rows with Sam an the hard discussions with my parents, the time when I had to live with the secret that I was pregnant was the most difficult and confusng time for ever. The time has passed so fast and Roof is a good-looking, slim boy by now!He grow up quicker than Sam and me could imagine!
Thank you for your help, Sam! And thanks that you came back from Hastings!:D
Chepter19
Chapter 19:
One day Sam and I decided to do something with Sam because it seemed that he was really happy when both parts of his parents could stay with him at the same time! We went in a park with him and played a bit in the sand with Roof… but we didn’t talk much. The mood was tensed; I won’t talk to Sam because he seemed repelled, as if he was scared of me. All in all we didn’t talk…and we didn’t have a row, which was the good point of silence!
Sam accompanied Roof and me; he ate with my parents for dinner, after the meal Roof’s father wanted to have a look at his son…we went upstairs… over the nice day -together as a normal family- I noticed that Sam is a great father and that I still have feelings for him! Suddenly it happened… in my brother’s bad!
We haven’t had sex since Roofs birth and none of us took a condom, so we had to steal it by my parents! It was a wonderful evening, we understood well and my feelings were stronger for him, like the first time! And…I thought about a new attempt of common future. I was so happy and hoped that this night was the end of rows! We talked about the past when Roof was a baby; it was a really hard time, there was no night we could sleep as long as we would like, and we had to look after him all the time (we still have to look after him every second, but now it is normal and we got used to look after him and do something else at the same moment!)…
Suddenly my mum opened the door to the room we had sex; she was totally surprised and angry when she realized that it were my ex and me, who were lying necked in Rich’s bad!
Of course I was shocked when my mum came in, mum asked us strong to come downstairs! We drunk a tee and discussed with my mum and also with my dad, he was not as surprised about Sam’s and mine sex- Relationship as mum, but he played the strong fatherhood to support his wife!
One day Sam and I decided to do something with Sam because it seemed that he was really happy when both parts of his parents could stay with him at the same time! We went in a park with him and played a bit in the sand with Roof… but we didn’t talk much. The mood was tensed; I won’t talk to Sam because he seemed repelled, as if he was scared of me. All in all we didn’t talk…and we didn’t have a row, which was the good point of silence!
Sam accompanied Roof and me; he ate with my parents for dinner, after the meal Roof’s father wanted to have a look at his son…we went upstairs… over the nice day -together as a normal family- I noticed that Sam is a great father and that I still have feelings for him! Suddenly it happened… in my brother’s bad!
We haven’t had sex since Roofs birth and none of us took a condom, so we had to steal it by my parents! It was a wonderful evening, we understood well and my feelings were stronger for him, like the first time! And…I thought about a new attempt of common future. I was so happy and hoped that this night was the end of rows! We talked about the past when Roof was a baby; it was a really hard time, there was no night we could sleep as long as we would like, and we had to look after him all the time (we still have to look after him every second, but now it is normal and we got used to look after him and do something else at the same moment!)…
Suddenly my mum opened the door to the room we had sex; she was totally surprised and angry when she realized that it were my ex and me, who were lying necked in Rich’s bad!
Of course I was shocked when my mum came in, mum asked us strong to come downstairs! We drunk a tee and discussed with my mum and also with my dad, he was not as surprised about Sam’s and mine sex- Relationship as mum, but he played the strong fatherhood to support his wife!
Chapter18
Chapter 18:
I was tired and exhausted; Roof still was sleeping and I wanted to relax in the bath…but suddenly I heard Sam at the door, he wanted to talk to me, I took of my dressing gown (I didn’t know why but it seemed urgent) he was a bit nervous and came inside. I was angry because of his inattention and than he allowed my to go back in the bath as if he wanted to see my necked! I was shocked and didn’t believe that he really said it!
But the worst point was when he told my, he does not want to see my body because he would have much better things to look at!
When I realized what that meant I went off, that was too much! I yelled at him… and when I was so mad at Sam I forbid him to stay in contact with Roof! I thought I would save Roof by not having contact to his dada anymore!
After a while we discussed and fight my mum intervene in the act and tried to calm us town, she made us both a cup of tea and than I noted that there was a bit misunderstanding between Sam and me; he doesn’t want to see my body he quickly wanted to talk to my about the future, how it will go on to not loosing the touch to Roof!
I knew that he really loves his son and that he wants to be a good father for Roof -the opposite of his own one- that Sam tries to care for the cute boy!
We calmed own after that really intensive and unpleasant fight and Sam wanted to go home again.
Before he left the house he would like to see Roof…we went in my room, where our son was sleeping, and watched at him, he was lying in his bed and looked so untroubled an peaceful! I was proud of Sam and me that we chose that difficult but wonderful way to keep the baby,(of course…at the moment we often argue but that is normal in a difficult relationship!!!)
I wished we could stay like that for the next years, observe Roof how he grows up and do not discuss anymore!
I was tired and exhausted; Roof still was sleeping and I wanted to relax in the bath…but suddenly I heard Sam at the door, he wanted to talk to me, I took of my dressing gown (I didn’t know why but it seemed urgent) he was a bit nervous and came inside. I was angry because of his inattention and than he allowed my to go back in the bath as if he wanted to see my necked! I was shocked and didn’t believe that he really said it!
But the worst point was when he told my, he does not want to see my body because he would have much better things to look at!
When I realized what that meant I went off, that was too much! I yelled at him… and when I was so mad at Sam I forbid him to stay in contact with Roof! I thought I would save Roof by not having contact to his dada anymore!
After a while we discussed and fight my mum intervene in the act and tried to calm us town, she made us both a cup of tea and than I noted that there was a bit misunderstanding between Sam and me; he doesn’t want to see my body he quickly wanted to talk to my about the future, how it will go on to not loosing the touch to Roof!
I knew that he really loves his son and that he wants to be a good father for Roof -the opposite of his own one- that Sam tries to care for the cute boy!
We calmed own after that really intensive and unpleasant fight and Sam wanted to go home again.
Before he left the house he would like to see Roof…we went in my room, where our son was sleeping, and watched at him, he was lying in his bed and looked so untroubled an peaceful! I was proud of Sam and me that we chose that difficult but wonderful way to keep the baby,(of course…at the moment we often argue but that is normal in a difficult relationship!!!)
I wished we could stay like that for the next years, observe Roof how he grows up and do not discuss anymore!
Chapter17
Chapter 17:
One day Sam and Roof met his dad in an Italian restaurant and a stayed home and relaxed, thought about our relationship and was frightened because of the row loosing Sam. After a long time they arrived again, all together in Dave’s car, it looked dangerous and I was frightened of my son; the cut boy together with the adventuresome and crazy Dave and together with his dad, who isn’t very careful all the time. When I saw them I get nervous because of Roof….
Everywhere lied Sam’s stuff, that is something which disturbs me, so I talk to Sam and than…we get in quarrelling.
We often had rows and discussed a lot!
In the night Sam was coughing and sneezing, so I couldn’t sleep well and I wanted to save Roof, so I asked him to sleep in an other room but he decided to move to his mum till the cold was over to not infect Roof, on the one hand I was a bit sad but on the other hand I was lucky (at first) to have more freedom and that I do not have to take care for Roof AND Sam!
But when I lied in my bed and wanted to fall asleep I couldn’t… I missed Sam!
One day Sam and Roof met his dad in an Italian restaurant and a stayed home and relaxed, thought about our relationship and was frightened because of the row loosing Sam. After a long time they arrived again, all together in Dave’s car, it looked dangerous and I was frightened of my son; the cut boy together with the adventuresome and crazy Dave and together with his dad, who isn’t very careful all the time. When I saw them I get nervous because of Roof….
Everywhere lied Sam’s stuff, that is something which disturbs me, so I talk to Sam and than…we get in quarrelling.
We often had rows and discussed a lot!
In the night Sam was coughing and sneezing, so I couldn’t sleep well and I wanted to save Roof, so I asked him to sleep in an other room but he decided to move to his mum till the cold was over to not infect Roof, on the one hand I was a bit sad but on the other hand I was lucky (at first) to have more freedom and that I do not have to take care for Roof AND Sam!
But when I lied in my bed and wanted to fall asleep I couldn’t… I missed Sam!
Chapter16
Chapter 16:
Sam and I had to get up every night to feed Roof, change his nappy…every night again! But we couldn’t get used to that ritual, so we felt confused when our son started crying in night, we had to remember where we are and who it is, the crying person!
That night Sam had to get up and calm Rufus down so I could continue to sleep; Sam was proud of himself, because he was better in reassuring our 3- weeks- year old kid than me; I noticed that he liked it. And … Sam also enjoyed the time, when he could be together with our cute boy!
At that moment I felt how much I would love my little family! So I talked to my boyfriend about our love.
I really noticed that we have to stay together, for the rest of the live; I want that the time is available! Everything fits together so well!
Before Roof’s birth I didn’t imagined that the time with him could be as nice as it is now (of course, it is heavy and also stressful, but the most time it is wonderful to see the growing of my own kid: D)
The following day I was alone with Roof because Sam went to college. In the afternoon he came inside very angry, he reproached me that I have had sex with my ex and that roof wasn’t his baby, that he was the looser who care about roof and my although he needn’t, because he isn’t roofs father…
But…why does he think stuff like that? I didn’t realized it at first, I never thought about these nonsense, I was sure that Sam is the father and I was happy about it and it wasn’t possible that there was an other boy…!?!?!!!!
And than…suddenly I knew who talked to Sam and wants to make me in trouble and split Sam and me up! it was my ex! He is at the same college than Sam and he is jealous that I left him because of the difficult topic SEX and now I am a mom! I was sure, my ex likes beating someone up and he is jealous!
But that wasn’t the point… of course… I can understand him a bit, if there came someone to me and wants me to convince of the wrong fatherhood, I would also get uncertain…
The point is that he believes a foreign person and not his girlfriend and his baby’s mom! I was disappointed about his reaction; this is a sign that he does not really loves me and Roof! ...
By the way I was tired, although I didn’t do anything exhausting, so I was tense and Roof nerved me too…
We calmed down and I explained him that it isn’t possible that my ex is Roofs father, after that intensive discussion I went to bed and was a bit frightened because of our future and felt asleep!
Sam and I had to get up every night to feed Roof, change his nappy…every night again! But we couldn’t get used to that ritual, so we felt confused when our son started crying in night, we had to remember where we are and who it is, the crying person!
That night Sam had to get up and calm Rufus down so I could continue to sleep; Sam was proud of himself, because he was better in reassuring our 3- weeks- year old kid than me; I noticed that he liked it. And … Sam also enjoyed the time, when he could be together with our cute boy!
At that moment I felt how much I would love my little family! So I talked to my boyfriend about our love.
I really noticed that we have to stay together, for the rest of the live; I want that the time is available! Everything fits together so well!
Before Roof’s birth I didn’t imagined that the time with him could be as nice as it is now (of course, it is heavy and also stressful, but the most time it is wonderful to see the growing of my own kid: D)
The following day I was alone with Roof because Sam went to college. In the afternoon he came inside very angry, he reproached me that I have had sex with my ex and that roof wasn’t his baby, that he was the looser who care about roof and my although he needn’t, because he isn’t roofs father…
But…why does he think stuff like that? I didn’t realized it at first, I never thought about these nonsense, I was sure that Sam is the father and I was happy about it and it wasn’t possible that there was an other boy…!?!?!!!!
And than…suddenly I knew who talked to Sam and wants to make me in trouble and split Sam and me up! it was my ex! He is at the same college than Sam and he is jealous that I left him because of the difficult topic SEX and now I am a mom! I was sure, my ex likes beating someone up and he is jealous!
But that wasn’t the point… of course… I can understand him a bit, if there came someone to me and wants me to convince of the wrong fatherhood, I would also get uncertain…
The point is that he believes a foreign person and not his girlfriend and his baby’s mom! I was disappointed about his reaction; this is a sign that he does not really loves me and Roof! ...
By the way I was tired, although I didn’t do anything exhausting, so I was tense and Roof nerved me too…
We calmed down and I explained him that it isn’t possible that my ex is Roofs father, after that intensive discussion I went to bed and was a bit frightened because of our future and felt asleep!
Chapter15
Chapter 15:
Finally…Roof is there! I am so happy to have him and to be together with Sam again!
Yesterday it was September the twelfth and our cute son was born! My mum, Sam and me were in hospital a very long time, because my contractions had stopped…
But now…we are family; I am so undesirable happy to be a mother.
Ok, I will start at the beginning of that part in my young live: we went home on September the thirteenth, the day after our son saw the light of the world for the first time. That was my best day since I can think!
I BECAME MUM!
This was the day Sam moved to Roof and me; he came with Annie and Mark and he brought some clothes and a Tony Hawk poster, which he wasn’t allowed to put up in our room. I noticed that he didn’t feel well, of curse he has to live with his newborn kid, his girlfriend and her strong and conservative parents in one house or in the same room, and he had to move from his home and he had to leave his beloved his spontaneous mother…and he must leave his freedom and his careless behaviour!
Everybody stared at me when I was feeding Rufus, but he didn’t like that they watched at him; I asked them leaving the room to calm the cute boy down, but nobody, except for Mark went out so I had to command Annie and mum.
Sam also was ready to leave to room but he shouldn’t because he is the father and I also need him…I love him soooo much…again! Luckily we talked and found a perfect way to educate Roof. … When Sam was on the way to go out of the room I said that he can stay there because of his father- advantage, to live there! But during I told him that, mum watched surprised at me and said that she also live there and that she had the right to stay there...i decided that both, Annie and Andrea, had to go!
When everyone was outside I could relax and enjoy the time with my whole little family! Sam and Roof and me:D
I was tired but unbelievable joyful!!!!
Roof slept in my arm and Sam was happy, too (Ok, I think he was a bit confused because of all these changes!
We are a happy, young, abnormally family!
Finally…Roof is there! I am so happy to have him and to be together with Sam again!
Yesterday it was September the twelfth and our cute son was born! My mum, Sam and me were in hospital a very long time, because my contractions had stopped…
But now…we are family; I am so undesirable happy to be a mother.
Ok, I will start at the beginning of that part in my young live: we went home on September the thirteenth, the day after our son saw the light of the world for the first time. That was my best day since I can think!
I BECAME MUM!
This was the day Sam moved to Roof and me; he came with Annie and Mark and he brought some clothes and a Tony Hawk poster, which he wasn’t allowed to put up in our room. I noticed that he didn’t feel well, of curse he has to live with his newborn kid, his girlfriend and her strong and conservative parents in one house or in the same room, and he had to move from his home and he had to leave his beloved his spontaneous mother…and he must leave his freedom and his careless behaviour!
Everybody stared at me when I was feeding Rufus, but he didn’t like that they watched at him; I asked them leaving the room to calm the cute boy down, but nobody, except for Mark went out so I had to command Annie and mum.
Sam also was ready to leave to room but he shouldn’t because he is the father and I also need him…I love him soooo much…again! Luckily we talked and found a perfect way to educate Roof. … When Sam was on the way to go out of the room I said that he can stay there because of his father- advantage, to live there! But during I told him that, mum watched surprised at me and said that she also live there and that she had the right to stay there...i decided that both, Annie and Andrea, had to go!
When everyone was outside I could relax and enjoy the time with my whole little family! Sam and Roof and me:D
I was tired but unbelievable joyful!!!!
Roof slept in my arm and Sam was happy, too (Ok, I think he was a bit confused because of all these changes!
We are a happy, young, abnormally family!
Chapter13&14
Chapter13&14:
We prepared for the birth…
Suddenly I noticed… the baby will come soon! I was nervous and angry, Sam wasn’t at home my mum tried helping me!!! Fortunately she helped me! Sam wasn’t there at the moment and… I was a bit angry that he decided to leave me and the baby although he didn’t want! Maybe he was afraid f responsibility…..but… suddenly he entered the bathroom! I didn’t felt well, but when I saw him, I felt a bit relieved!
But the most horrible moment arrived when we went to hospital!
My mother, Sam, me and (up to this moment) unborn baby. We sat in the room, I noticed that my mum was also a bit nervous and excited…but she managed everything professionally, so she refused leaving the hospital and coming back later( maybe too late)…!
After a while our baby was coming! It was harder and harder! And Sam got more nervous than before, but I didn’t felt well and I had to cry…so I called Sam and my mother bad names! I didn’t mean what I said during that hard time!
I was so proud of our child! That turning point in my and Sam’s live arrived…from this second our live will change completely!
Rufus… I decided calling our son like the musicians on the CD we heard during the birth!
Roof and me just a few moments after the hard birth!
Sam, Roof and me!
The rest of the family arrived gradually, and my mum started discussing about his family name. But I let talking them and decided spontaneously that Roof’s family name would be Jones! I wanted to show Sam that I love him and that I have my own opinion (not the same one as my mother). The main point was that I wanted to show him my love!
We prepared for the birth…
Suddenly I noticed… the baby will come soon! I was nervous and angry, Sam wasn’t at home my mum tried helping me!!! Fortunately she helped me! Sam wasn’t there at the moment and… I was a bit angry that he decided to leave me and the baby although he didn’t want! Maybe he was afraid f responsibility…..but… suddenly he entered the bathroom! I didn’t felt well, but when I saw him, I felt a bit relieved!
But the most horrible moment arrived when we went to hospital!
My mother, Sam, me and (up to this moment) unborn baby. We sat in the room, I noticed that my mum was also a bit nervous and excited…but she managed everything professionally, so she refused leaving the hospital and coming back later( maybe too late)…!
After a while our baby was coming! It was harder and harder! And Sam got more nervous than before, but I didn’t felt well and I had to cry…so I called Sam and my mother bad names! I didn’t mean what I said during that hard time!
I was so proud of our child! That turning point in my and Sam’s live arrived…from this second our live will change completely!
Rufus… I decided calling our son like the musicians on the CD we heard during the birth!
Roof and me just a few moments after the hard birth! 
Sam, Roof and me!
The rest of the family arrived gradually, and my mum started discussing about his family name. But I let talking them and decided spontaneously that Roof’s family name would be Jones! I wanted to show Sam that I love him and that I have my own opinion (not the same one as my mother). The main point was that I wanted to show him my love!
Chapter12
Chapter 12:
Future
At this moment Roof is a 2 years old boy, who talks a lot stuff and is a big annoying, he needs all attention and is the most important part in the family, everybody has to take care for the smallest member of family; but he also very cute and it listens funny when he sais Dadda or something like that…
All in all I am happy to have Roof and Sam, we found the perfect way to live, I live with Roof in mums and dads house (they help me to deal with our kid) and Sam comes when he wants and of course when I need his help, he is there for me…
And… that was the point I called him this morning; I was ill, didn’t feel well but Roof had to go to the doctor, but I wasn’t ready to go with him, so I asked Sam to take him and go to the doctor. It was a great help for me, Sam came, took Roof for a while and I had time to prepare and sleep because our son is very stressful.
Sam said that they would go to playground…. And so I thought of having a relaxing day/ least Morning… but suddenly they stood more or less happy in front of my door.
And so … my relaxing day was over, Sam had lunch with us and Roof was happy to see and play with his father.
At afternoon I felt better so I could take our child again.
I thought about Sam and the circumstances at his home; his mother has a baby, too and her new man lives in there flat, so Sam hasn’t a lot free time; either he has to care for his son or look for his sister, who is younger than his own son.
Everything was complicated and up side down!!! I knew it was hard for him.
But… I can not relive Sam, he is the father and has the same responsibility and the same tasks for his kid, and I can not do all by my own!!!
Chapter11
Chapter 11:
I am in 5th month now, and everybody can see that I am pregnant.
The birth is coming closer and so; one day, when Sam and I sat in kitchen the at home, my mum asked where we would live when our baby is there. But Sam and I didn’t think about that question.
(We didn’t think about a lot of important questions!).That question confused us… again, it is like a rollercoaster, one time everything is wonderful; Sam and I are happy together and than it changes completely. We are unhappy and totally overburden!
I said quickly that Sam will move to us and that we will live together in my (our) house.
But my parents weren’t very excited and asked weather we would know what it means to live with a foreign person in one room, except for sleeping in the same bed! They wanted us, particularly me to convince that we can not live like man and wife in the parents house, but I wanted to be strong and manage my family my own, so I said self-confident that we could look for our own flat, that we wouldn’t need there help…. But than my mum was getting uneasy and agreed Sam and me.
After that discussion I noticed that Sam wasn’t ready to move out from his home, leave his mother and come to me and my strict parents who do not like Sam so much (and he knows it).
Sam said he has to think about that all and went to skating; at that moment I heard my mum calling Sam’s mum and telling her the result of the conversation. I was getting angry because I couldn’t understand her; she always tells everything Sam’s mum so she already knew, what Sam wanted her to tell, it seemed like a Sneak, she tells everything to everyone!!!
I am in 5th month now, and everybody can see that I am pregnant.
The birth is coming closer and so; one day, when Sam and I sat in kitchen the at home, my mum asked where we would live when our baby is there. But Sam and I didn’t think about that question.
(We didn’t think about a lot of important questions!).That question confused us… again, it is like a rollercoaster, one time everything is wonderful; Sam and I are happy together and than it changes completely. We are unhappy and totally overburden!
I said quickly that Sam will move to us and that we will live together in my (our) house.
But my parents weren’t very excited and asked weather we would know what it means to live with a foreign person in one room, except for sleeping in the same bed! They wanted us, particularly me to convince that we can not live like man and wife in the parents house, but I wanted to be strong and manage my family my own, so I said self-confident that we could look for our own flat, that we wouldn’t need there help…. But than my mum was getting uneasy and agreed Sam and me.
After that discussion I noticed that Sam wasn’t ready to move out from his home, leave his mother and come to me and my strict parents who do not like Sam so much (and he knows it).
Sam said he has to think about that all and went to skating; at that moment I heard my mum calling Sam’s mum and telling her the result of the conversation. I was getting angry because I couldn’t understand her; she always tells everything Sam’s mum so she already knew, what Sam wanted her to tell, it seemed like a Sneak, she tells everything to everyone!!!
Chapter10
Chapter10
New live:
Sam and me… we are together again!!!!
We went to hospital and looked our small baby on an X-ray, the doctor told us that everything was ok with the child and I (in opposite to Sam) wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl. And… it is a boy, we are relived, on the way back from hospital home…it happened…I hold his hand and…Sam kissed me! It was the first real touching after weeks although it was a bit strange to kiss the baby’s father, who ran away form us(our/my child and me) and never wanted to come back, didn’t want to know something about us or stay in contact…, the kiss… it seemed to me very well, and to my mind we are both happy to be together again.
I mean… we will have a baby in a few months and it wouldn’t be helpful for Sam, me and our kid to have a tension in the relationship….of course… it was not as easygoing as before the pregnancy, but better than the days round about his running to Hastings. Those days were almost the most horrible ones during the pregnancy. I felt so lonely and abandoned.
Finally, we are together again and have a clear relationship, we talked to each other and have nearly the same opinion about our baby; we will be for him, help him as far as we can and be like normal parents, so we can discuss with our parents about having and caring for the cute kid without a contrary!!!
My mum announced us to NCT, she said that a class like that helped her in past when she was pregnant, and she made friends there she said those contacts are not only good for us, also for our child.
So Sam and I were a bit sceptical….. But we went there; we hoped making the same experience in the group: making new friends, who we can talk about our problems, thinking, feelings, happiness and fears, we hope they can understand us; so we tried it:
Sam already waited for me in front of the building, I and Sam, too still were a suspicious…and when I saw all the people who went inside…. It was a bad feeling; I just wanted to run home, it was so embarrassing!!!
Just old persons, some of them still had grey hair; they wore a suite and came with luxury cars… I wanted to leave, but Sam persuaded me to stay there, although he wanted to go home!
It was an unusual, a new feeling!!! We were the single people in our age!!!
The wife who managed that class spited up the group in men and women, so Sam was in the other group. The task was to write down, what we expect from fatherhood/ motherhood.
The first thoughts were: - illness
- difficult school life
- I didn’t told anyone that I am pregnant but everybody can see it( I am in the fifth month now)
- My friends will be angry, that I didn’t talked to them
- I wont have any time for friends and hobbies
- I have to stay home for month, can’t go out to a club or disco…
- I have to walk through the park…
- Less sleep
- Poverty
At that moment I noticed again how hard my life will be with Sam’s and my kid, but at the same time I knew that we can organize all these points and care for him like the best parents all over the world!!!
But we couldn’t stay with so many old parents in one room one more time so:
That was the first and last time, we went to a class my mum recommended!!!
New live:
Sam and me… we are together again!!!!
We went to hospital and looked our small baby on an X-ray, the doctor told us that everything was ok with the child and I (in opposite to Sam) wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl. And… it is a boy, we are relived, on the way back from hospital home…it happened…I hold his hand and…Sam kissed me! It was the first real touching after weeks although it was a bit strange to kiss the baby’s father, who ran away form us(our/my child and me) and never wanted to come back, didn’t want to know something about us or stay in contact…, the kiss… it seemed to me very well, and to my mind we are both happy to be together again.
I mean… we will have a baby in a few months and it wouldn’t be helpful for Sam, me and our kid to have a tension in the relationship….of course… it was not as easygoing as before the pregnancy, but better than the days round about his running to Hastings. Those days were almost the most horrible ones during the pregnancy. I felt so lonely and abandoned.
Finally, we are together again and have a clear relationship, we talked to each other and have nearly the same opinion about our baby; we will be for him, help him as far as we can and be like normal parents, so we can discuss with our parents about having and caring for the cute kid without a contrary!!!
My mum announced us to NCT, she said that a class like that helped her in past when she was pregnant, and she made friends there she said those contacts are not only good for us, also for our child.
So Sam and I were a bit sceptical….. But we went there; we hoped making the same experience in the group: making new friends, who we can talk about our problems, thinking, feelings, happiness and fears, we hope they can understand us; so we tried it:
Sam already waited for me in front of the building, I and Sam, too still were a suspicious…and when I saw all the people who went inside…. It was a bad feeling; I just wanted to run home, it was so embarrassing!!!
Just old persons, some of them still had grey hair; they wore a suite and came with luxury cars… I wanted to leave, but Sam persuaded me to stay there, although he wanted to go home!
It was an unusual, a new feeling!!! We were the single people in our age!!!
The wife who managed that class spited up the group in men and women, so Sam was in the other group. The task was to write down, what we expect from fatherhood/ motherhood.
The first thoughts were: - illness
- difficult school life
- I didn’t told anyone that I am pregnant but everybody can see it( I am in the fifth month now)
- My friends will be angry, that I didn’t talked to them
- I wont have any time for friends and hobbies
- I have to stay home for month, can’t go out to a club or disco…
- I have to walk through the park…
- Less sleep
- Poverty
At that moment I noticed again how hard my life will be with Sam’s and my kid, but at the same time I knew that we can organize all these points and care for him like the best parents all over the world!!!
But we couldn’t stay with so many old parents in one room one more time so:
That was the first and last time, we went to a class my mum recommended!!!
Chapter9
Chapter 9:
I called Sam in the evening, we talked about the different reactions our parents did; that our mothers started crying and my father shouted because he was angry!!!
Than he told me that his mother talked to his father….
he had been a bit confused and surprised and also a bit excited but he didn’t started shouting or crying…
But he told my, that this was a typical reaction for his dad; he would never get angry, except for his girlfriends!!!
My parents invited Sam, his mum and dad for the following day, they thought it would be helpful to talk when everyone could think and `sleep´ about it, to calm down and inform about similar situations from other girls and boys at that age.
The following day:
At about 5 am the doorbell rang and Sam’s family arrived, there was a depressing mood.
My mother had baked a well tasting cake and my father had cooked tee.
During eating and drinking our parents, except for Sam’s father, were discussing about my pregnancy…
And than they arrived at that point when my father asked weather we really want to keep the baby!?!? He tried us to convince to apportion the….
But I was sure… I, we keep the baby!!! I do not kill the baby!!!
Mr. Burns: But Alicia… sees, you wanted to get a good education and a well paid job… a successful carer…
Alicia: Dad that was your dream, you and mum once!! No my one!
Mr. Burns: If you really want to keep the kid, you have to leave school soon, stay home a long time until the small guy is born… and than… it starts! You won’t sleep the whole night, the child wakes up every 4 hours and you have to get up and…
Sam: But Mr. Burns…. I could help Alicia!!
Mrs. Burns: You… Sam do you have experienced how much work that little person can make??? And… I can’t believe that you still have an education or a well paid job??
I called Sam in the evening, we talked about the different reactions our parents did; that our mothers started crying and my father shouted because he was angry!!!
Than he told me that his mother talked to his father….
he had been a bit confused and surprised and also a bit excited but he didn’t started shouting or crying…
But he told my, that this was a typical reaction for his dad; he would never get angry, except for his girlfriends!!!
My parents invited Sam, his mum and dad for the following day, they thought it would be helpful to talk when everyone could think and `sleep´ about it, to calm down and inform about similar situations from other girls and boys at that age.
The following day:
At about 5 am the doorbell rang and Sam’s family arrived, there was a depressing mood.
My mother had baked a well tasting cake and my father had cooked tee.
During eating and drinking our parents, except for Sam’s father, were discussing about my pregnancy…
And than they arrived at that point when my father asked weather we really want to keep the baby!?!? He tried us to convince to apportion the….
But I was sure… I, we keep the baby!!! I do not kill the baby!!!
Mr. Burns: But Alicia… sees, you wanted to get a good education and a well paid job… a successful carer…
Alicia: Dad that was your dream, you and mum once!! No my one!
Mr. Burns: If you really want to keep the kid, you have to leave school soon, stay home a long time until the small guy is born… and than… it starts! You won’t sleep the whole night, the child wakes up every 4 hours and you have to get up and…
Sam: But Mr. Burns…. I could help Alicia!!
Mrs. Burns: You… Sam do you have experienced how much work that little person can make??? And… I can’t believe that you still have an education or a well paid job??
Chapter7&8
Chapter 7&8:
…I did the pregnancy test, alone without Sam. And… the result… like I suspected…. positive. I am pregnant!!!
I tried to call the baby’s father; I couldn’t reach him, but didn’t take care about Sam
because I already knew that from my ex- boyfriend.
I was sure that he switched off his mobile phone to get a few minutes for his own to process his feelings and thoughts and to come back soon to talk with me about our joint future.
That were my thoughts… until Sam’s mother called my and asked whether I had seen her son. eh would have left home for a very very long time! When i heared that
I got angry; maybe he will never come back and leave my alone with the child because he was afraid of responsibility…. Or maybe something dangerous had happened; Sam had an accident or something like that…. Until that call I was afraid about the future.
I was nervous; I was angry about the reaction my parents would do when I sat there and say them that I will get a baby. I didn’t know what would happen with school and didn’t know what my friends would say….
I missed the baby’s father; who shell I talk to, nobody knows that I am pregnant!!
I love him and the baby needs a father, I can’t educate the child, lonely!!! I can not imagine that he will never come back to his mum, to my, his family!!!
That can’t be truth, I thought!! Where shell he goes to, he has no money and no clothes…
…I did the pregnancy test, alone without Sam. And… the result… like I suspected…. positive. I am pregnant!!!
I tried to call the baby’s father; I couldn’t reach him, but didn’t take care about Sam
because I already knew that from my ex- boyfriend.
I was sure that he switched off his mobile phone to get a few minutes for his own to process his feelings and thoughts and to come back soon to talk with me about our joint future.
That were my thoughts… until Sam’s mother called my and asked whether I had seen her son. eh would have left home for a very very long time! When i heared that
I got angry; maybe he will never come back and leave my alone with the child because he was afraid of responsibility…. Or maybe something dangerous had happened; Sam had an accident or something like that…. Until that call I was afraid about the future.
I was nervous; I was angry about the reaction my parents would do when I sat there and say them that I will get a baby. I didn’t know what would happen with school and didn’t know what my friends would say….
I missed the baby’s father; who shell I talk to, nobody knows that I am pregnant!!
I love him and the baby needs a father, I can’t educate the child, lonely!!! I can not imagine that he will never come back to his mum, to my, his family!!!
That can’t be truth, I thought!! Where shell he goes to, he has no money and no clothes…
Chapter6
Chapter 6:
In that Chapter Sam travelled in the future, he could see how it would go on with Alicia and the baby, their relationship, his relationship to his and Alicia’s parents, where and how they would live when thy baby was born….
But at that day when (maybe) Tony Hawk sends Sam in the future he seemed strange. Sam woke up in the night, someone cried and there was a noise who said that it was his turn but he couldn’t imagine what this should mean…..suddenly he noticed that he was laying next Alicia and his son was the baby who cried …. But….he still didn’t know what the name of the baby was and how could calm him down, he didn’t know how to touch his son….
Sam was so confused…. Because there was missing an important part in his exciting live during his girlfriend (ex- girlfriend) was pregnant!
In my opinion that was a chapter, which was difficult to understand because the chapter before Alicia was pregnant and there were many questions how it will go on in the relationship between Alicia, Sam and the baby. But Suddenly (Chapter 6) the Baby is already born and everything seemed clear between the young parents, but Sam does not understand the situation…
So I think it was confusing, but after a few sentences I could understand the situation, which only Sam could live.
Chapter5
Chapter 5: future
OHNO!!!
SAM: he wanted to live another life than his mother who was pregnant when she was
16. Sam wanted to go to college, have a good education, look for the right woman and get children grew them up with his perfect wife. His plan was having a well paid job so he could buy toys for his baby and food…Everything should be perfect for his children!
ALICIA: My parents already have planned my live; they started when I was burn and wanted that I go to college and have a good education, look for a kind man and married him build
a big house in a good quarter, get a baby or/ and be successful…Everything should be perfect before the baby was born!
But everything came totally different…..
I am 16 and my boyfriend too, so far so good; the problem is: I am pregnant! Already!
We don’t have have an education, none of us have a job; don’t earn money, we go to school, we didn’t married already.
Have no money to live in an own flat, we can’t buy toys for our baby or something to eat…
That is it what Sam and me never wanted and what I have never thought about. I never could imagine that I would be so careless and have sex with a 16 year old boy without a condom!
What shell I do now, my parents, my friends, the school, my education, my boyfriend ( but I am not together with him at the moment), the money, my hobbies…..
All of this will be the past! I already miss it!!!!
Chapter3&4
Chapter 3&4: Thoughts about Sam
I love him and he loves me!!!!!!!!
I think about Sam every time!! It is a great time, we see us every day and we have sex every evening! I dream about my cute boyfriend, he does everything I want and takes care like no one before! He is the FIRST boy who said to me that he loves me and I do the same, too. And
of curse, we mean what we say! It was in Clissold Park, the park of love! it was a beautiful situation and I hope it will stay a long time like this!
We see us every day; always when I have leisure and we enjoy it, sure!!!
But suddenly it happened, Sam’s mum wanted to go to cinema and to pizza express with her son, so we couldn’t meet. She noticed that Sam and me didn’t met other persons then each other and she didn’t liked it so Sam had to go with his mum and I had to wait, two days without Sam! His mum thinks we wouldn’t know what love is, but we know!!!
We are happy to see us and have sex, we love each other!
But then our relationship changed, he didn’t came every day anymore, he went skating…again. He lives a normal life without a girlfriend and me too but I was sad about this situation. I missed him every day! One day I invent him to a meal with my hole family, Mum, Dad, Rich my brother and Sam.
He still didn’t came anymore and didn’t answered my text messages, I was disappointed and noticed that he didn’t loves me anymore, I was sad because I still loved him but I bored Sam. He could have talked to me, but…. he didn’t; Sam didn’t visit me anymore I missed him so much.
Chapter 2
I ( Alicia) sat in my room, it was very boring until someone came in my bedroom. Ohhhh… it was the boy, my mum has talked about. He was the son of an employee; he would be at the same age than me and came with his mum to the party. I couldn’t understand it because:
In general I hate these parties. They are for older people not for persons like Sam or me!
I was bored and annoyed when he entered my room, we didn’t talk to each other except a few sentence about music and something like that. Sam and me just sprawled on the sofa, I felt that I would like him and thought he wouldn’t be like all the other boys from school …but he shouldn’t notice it.
After a while, when he thought that I wasn’t interested in making friends he went downstairs to his mum, who was flirting with another man, I didn’t want to ignore him anymore and followed. In this moment I really felt ``Nice boy!!!``.
Than we went back and watched a film, I noticed that Sam was thoughtful but…
I told him about my experiences with my last boyfriend I told him that they went with me just because I am a pretty girl, so they felt cool, he wanted to sleep with me but I was not ready to sleep with him because he exploited me.
But I noticed…..I wanted to have sex with Sam…..
His mum was ready to leave the party and Sam also had to go, we wanted to go to cinema the following day but then I noticed, I had forgotten to give him my number so I followed them.
When I arrived them I gave him a card where my mobile number was written on. He looked happy!!!
I liked him….he is a special boy, different to all other Skaters…
He called me…and we had our first date!!!!
We planned to watch a film in cinema but we talked so much that we decided to go to a Coffee.
After a long time he brought me home and suddenly we had sex…
I knew… Sam is a very particularly boy, he didn’t had a condom in his pocket like every boy in his age would have.
In general I hate these parties. They are for older people not for persons like Sam or me!
I was bored and annoyed when he entered my room, we didn’t talk to each other except a few sentence about music and something like that. Sam and me just sprawled on the sofa, I felt that I would like him and thought he wouldn’t be like all the other boys from school …but he shouldn’t notice it.
After a while, when he thought that I wasn’t interested in making friends he went downstairs to his mum, who was flirting with another man, I didn’t want to ignore him anymore and followed. In this moment I really felt ``Nice boy!!!``.
Than we went back and watched a film, I noticed that Sam was thoughtful but…
I told him about my experiences with my last boyfriend I told him that they went with me just because I am a pretty girl, so they felt cool, he wanted to sleep with me but I was not ready to sleep with him because he exploited me.
But I noticed…..I wanted to have sex with Sam…..
His mum was ready to leave the party and Sam also had to go, we wanted to go to cinema the following day but then I noticed, I had forgotten to give him my number so I followed them.
When I arrived them I gave him a card where my mobile number was written on. He looked happy!!!
I liked him….he is a special boy, different to all other Skaters…
He called me…and we had our first date!!!!
We planned to watch a film in cinema but we talked so much that we decided to go to a Coffee.
After a long time he brought me home and suddenly we had sex…
I knew… Sam is a very particularly boy, he didn’t had a condom in his pocket like every boy in his age would have.
Chapter 1: First impression
My first impression is that the book SLAM would be an interesting one, because it is written closed to the real life of a youth. It is about problems and situations, which young people can understand.
Sam knows what he wants and so he works for it
First he describes his normal live, his exciting everyday live.
I like the book, it is not a fantasy book or something like that, it is good to understand.
Sam knows what he wants and so he works for it
First he describes his normal live, his exciting everyday live.
I like the book, it is not a fantasy book or something like that, it is good to understand.
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