New live:
Sam and me… we are together again!!!!
We went to hospital and looked our small baby on an X-ray, the doctor told us that everything was ok with the child and I (in opposite to Sam) wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl. And… it is a boy, we are relived, on the way back from hospital home…it happened…I hold his hand and…Sam kissed me! It was the first real touching after weeks although it was a bit strange to kiss the baby’s father, who ran away form us(our/my child and me) and never wanted to come back, didn’t want to know something about us or stay in contact…, the kiss… it seemed to me very well, and to my mind we are both happy to be together again.
I mean… we will have a baby in a few months and it wouldn’t be helpful for Sam, me and our kid to have a tension in the relationship….of course… it was not as easygoing as before the pregnancy, but better than the days round about his running to Hastings. Those days were almost the most horrible ones during the pregnancy. I felt so lonely and abandoned.
Finally, we are together again and have a clear relationship, we talked to each other and have nearly the same opinion about our baby; we will be for him, help him as far as we can and be like normal parents, so we can discuss with our parents about having and caring for the cute kid without a contrary!!!
My mum announced us to NCT, she said that a class like that helped her in past when she was pregnant, and she made friends there she said those contacts are not only good for us, also for our child.
So Sam and I were a bit sceptical….. But we went there; we hoped making the same experience in the group: making new friends, who we can talk about our problems, thinking, feelings, happiness and fears, we hope they can understand us; so we tried it:
Sam already waited for me in front of the building, I and Sam, too still were a suspicious…and when I saw all the people who went inside…. It was a bad feeling; I just wanted to run home, it was so embarrassing!!!
Just old persons, some of them still had grey hair; they wore a suite and came with luxury cars… I wanted to leave, but Sam persuaded me to stay there, although he wanted to go home!
It was an unusual, a new feeling!!! We were the single people in our age!!!
The wife who managed that class spited up the group in men and women, so Sam was in the other group. The task was to write down, what we expect from fatherhood/ motherhood.
The first thoughts were: - illness
- difficult school life
- I didn’t told anyone that I am pregnant but everybody can see it( I am in the fifth month now)
- My friends will be angry, that I didn’t talked to them
- I wont have any time for friends and hobbies
- I have to stay home for month, can’t go out to a club or disco…
- I have to walk through the park…
- Less sleep
- Poverty
At that moment I noticed again how hard my life will be with Sam’s and my kid, but at the same time I knew that we can organize all these points and care for him like the best parents all over the world!!!
But we couldn’t stay with so many old parents in one room one more time so:
That was the first and last time, we went to a class my mum recommended!!!
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